Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Do You Ever Wonder Why?


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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...
does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
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Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
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If people from Poland are called Poles,
then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?
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Do Lipton Tea employees take "coffee breaks?"
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks,
so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so
the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Now I think this is a good idea!!!!
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Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
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Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
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As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells
"THEIRS"?

10 comments:

reader Wil said...

These questions are made by a very clever person! So I am one of the Holes from Holland. I have an other question: the plural of mouse is mice, and the plural of louse lice,wouldn't it be better for house to use the plural hice?

Peter Parrott said...

Hello Patty
I am sat here on Toms PC banging the keys and visiting the nice people who call and visit my blog. Writing with these keys is hard work I can tell you.
Thankyou for visiting even though I can not always visit you. Tom shows me yours and Abes blogs. I somethings copy your jokes and text them to my friends by phone.
Say heelo to Abe. I do enjoy his birds ans stuff.
Peter.

Renie Burghardt said...

Good ones, Patty! Especially Theirs!

I hope you had a good day. My daughter said schools were closed in Willowick today because of the snow, which is an Eastern suburb of Cleveland. I hope you didn't get more snow! We had 45 and sunny today, and will be in the fifties and sixties for the rest of the week. Yay! Spring is on the way.

Have a good evening.

Renie

Mississippi Songbird said...

lol.. You always put a smile on my face. Thanks so much.. Bunches of hugs.. Have a good evening..

Paz said...

LOL! Too funny! ;-)

Paz

Wanda said...

Clever, funny questions..Hope I can remember a few!

Old Wom Tigley said...

Great Post Patty... I've copied a few so I can email them to friends.
Peter was here as you know last night, he manage to comment on about 5 blogs which was good for him to do.
He as one of the nicest hand writings I know of... but put him in front of the keyboard and he struggles.

The 4th Sister said...

just a little smirk for today....thx

bigbikerbob said...

Hi, I enjoyed those will probably use a few myself.

babooshka said...

Another great post. Just have to pass these on.