Thursday, February 28, 2008

Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as

'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
'LOW COST PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

4. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

5. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

8. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants -it's
'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

3 comments:

Mississippi Songbird said...

lol..Rear Cleavage..That's a good one.. Thanks for the funnies and thanks for entering my Watkins Easter Gift Basket Giveaway!..Have a blessed day!

Renie Burghardt said...

Too Funny, Patty! Hehehe.

babooshka said...

What a find your blog is!

These made me laugh out loud.