Tuesday, February 19, 2008



Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?
"Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?"
The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute.."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
He's still in intensive care.


reader Wil said...

Ha,ha, ha .....Very good jokes again. That's what we need, don't we?

Anonymous said...

really funny liked the father and son most

Wanda said...

Ha Ha Ha....yes too funny.

"Hole in Juan..."

Renie Burghardt said...

Hehehe, good ones again, Patty!

Good night.

Mississippi Songbird said...

Those are funny.. as usual.. Great post..

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Good jokes again, thank you. And I liked the Enforcer above
so hope he protects all you blogger friends!! Glad you enjoyed the kid's answers to the Bible questions. Kids
say the cutest things. I hope you are coping OK with work as usual, and the cold weather. And getting a good sleep at night. Same here, washing, dishes cooking etc etc, but we have to do it. Take care, Love, Merle.