Monday, February 18, 2008


You Do The Math...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC


Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY


Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


14 comments:

Chica said...

wonderful post, this is a very pretty layout here Patty! Have a great day, the sun is shining outside here, it's a nice change from what I've been getting. :)

Steph said...

Great post and the last one is my favorite ... LOL

Paz said...

LOL! I love this and your new blog look. Beautiful. Thanks for the good laugh. ;-)

Paz

Renie Burghardt said...

These are great, Patty. I especially love the last one. I guess a "you're next" at a funeral would do it! Hahaha.

We had 52 degrees and sunshine today, but strong winds as well. Tomorrow colder. But, I refuse to be discouraged. Spring will be here soon!

Have a great evening.

Renie

Wanda said...

These are great....And Patty thanks for the advice about my plants...$40.00 bucks....mmmmmm!!!

LOL:)

Wanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mississippi Songbird said...

I love these. Thanks for the funnies. Happy Presidents Day!

Rosy said...

Great humor, love all of them, but I think my better half could relate to the Office math. lol

Old Wom Tigley said...

These are very good Patty... and will be sent on to Janes friends I'm sure... I do like the bottom one... naughty but very funny...ha!

Martin Stickland said...

Very good Patty!

I do like the lovely photo of you and Abraham, what a swell couple!

Have a nice day!

oldmanlincoln said...

There you go honey. People like us.

i-martian said...

great laughs .. loved all of the post :)

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Abe is right, people do like you both!! Enjoyed the funnies.
Thanks for your comments and I am glad you got a chuckle about the crocheted dolls. Take care, my friend, don't over-do things. Get some rest. Love, Merle.

reader Wil said...

Lovely new template! You are very Creative!