Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A Few Jokes, Good or Bad!


Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk, she has a "question and answer" period. One little boy raises his hand and the Senator asks him for his name.

"Kenneth."

"And what is your question, Kenneth?"

"I have three questions: First, whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second, why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? And third, whatever happened to all those things you and Bill took when you left the White House?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the children that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

This time a different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary points to him and asks him for his name.

"Larry."

"And what is your question?"

"I have five questions: First, whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second, why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? Third, whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what happened to my best friend Kenneth?
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The Presidential watches

A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says--"you are suppose to read his lips".

He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch" and notices that it isn't running - the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn't run, it runs, it doesn't run . . ."

He then notices a watch called the "Bill Clinton Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch. He asks the sales clerk how much. The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax . . ."
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Republicans Democrats

The difference between Republicans & Democrats

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.

The republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republicans pocket and gave him fifty dollars.
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Flags tell us information about our taxes

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
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Pentagon and pencils

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

GET OUT YOUR 'PORTABLE HAND-HELD COMMUNICATIONS INSCRIBERS'

WASHINGTON - When is a pencil not a pencil? When it's on a Pentagon shopping list - then it's a ''portable hand-held communications inscriber,'' says a Republican senator.

8 comments:

Old Wom Tigley said...

These are very good Patty.. I could quite easily alter these to suit ours.

Wanda said...

Some were pretty funny, some really true ~~ some down right scary!!

Love my visits here Patty!!

david mcmahon said...

Ha-ha: ''portable hand-held communications inscriber''.

VERY sharp!

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Melinda said...

hahah..some pretty good ones mom!

chelle's winks said...

These are so funny....mostly true too!!!!!!!!

Renie Burghardt said...

Good ones, Patty! I especially like the one about the Republican and Democrat. Ain that the truth! Haha.

Mississippi Songbird said...

I love these..Have a Happy Easter! God bless...