Friday, March 14, 2008

MID LIFE

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be....Puhle eeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60, 70 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans.
We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too'

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.


Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cellphone-wearing teenager and think: 'For this I have stretch marks?'

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally -- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective . . . You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

11 comments:

The 4th Sister said...

Oh I needed a good laugh today

Old Wom Tigley said...

LOL Patty
This is really good.. I will show this to Jane when she gets home...

chelle's winks said...

HA HA HA...I love your post. It's where I visit for my daily laughs...your place is the best medicine!!!

Love ya Mrs. Patti....

Have a great weekend!

Wanda said...

Funny ~~~ In that last picture, I thought you had taken a photo of me walking Molly, and then I realized I was wearing black shoes. (((Ha Ha))

You just bring Sunshine into every day, no matter what the weather.

LOL:)

Martin Stickland said...

Hello Patty, I hope you are fine and dandy, thanks for popping by and give our love to Abe, his photos make mine look like poo!

Love you jokes and have a great weekend!

M

Renie Burghardt said...

Oi Veh, very funny but very true!

Have a good night, Patty

Autumn said...

That was so funny. I had not seen it before..Thanks for posting it.

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Great fun - the jokes about middle age. Which is not really all that funny, and neither is old age, BUT both are a hell of a lot better than the alternative. WE just have to go with the flow, deal with whatever comes and do the best we can. Glad you liked my bird bath
hotel.It is nice and the light shone last night. I use Firefoz, so that explains my trouble with videos.
Take care, dear friend, Love, Merle.

Mississippi Songbird said...

Can't stop laughing. you've given me the giggles.. Have a great St Patricks Day!

gmj said...

Just found you. I won't loose ya. This is the best giggle I have had. At 60+ I can relate. They told me the hot flashes would go away, they LIED. The real giggle to that is the other morning my husband was snuggled next to me and I thought I was flashing and it was him! There is justice in this world.

Tomate Farcie said...

Funny stuff! I love the little drawings (especially the last one with a red hat! I've done it! )