Friday, March 28, 2008

New Words, Old Words - Part Two...



Old words with new meanings...

1. Coffee: (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted: (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate: (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade: (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-Nilly: (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent: (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph: (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle: (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence: (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash: (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle: (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude: (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon: (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster: (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism: (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent: (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.




4 comments:

Martin Stickland said...

Only last night Jake heard the word flabbergasted on the TV and said is it a real word! And here it is in your funny list!

Tuck Abe up in bed with a big bottle of scotch and I hope you are okay Patty!

Have a nice weekend too!

m

oldmanlincoln said...

Feeling like heck this morning.

Old Wom Tigley said...

I'm still laughing at Willy-Nilly... ha! wait til Jane see this.. oh! dear she will laugh.

Tom

Renie Burghardt said...

Hahaha, these are even funnier then the first set!

Hope poor Abe is feeling better by now!