Saturday, May 24, 2008

Received this from a dear friend in Ca.

Summer Classes for Men -
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 17 th 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

8 comments:

Gramma Ann said...

LOL!!!I thought it was just the men in my family, it must be a virus they catch growing up, that most of them have some of these symptoms! I wonder???

Old Wom Tigley said...

Patty these are funny.. I cracked up at 'class 3.. when it said 'Group Practice'.
As for all the other..just great Jane will love these even though the roles are revervsed here. ha!

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ These are great, though
the fellows may not agree. But if the shoe fits, then wear it.Not sure now if it's the cap or the shoe that fits. I am very late tonight and must get to bed. Thank you so much for your comments about my scan results. I am so relieved and looks like we
both live to fight another day. I will check out that e mail about pseudotumor tomorrow. I hope your daughter is well now.I will e mail
you tomorrow Patty. Thank you for
being such a lovely friend. Take care, Love, Merle.

Chris said...

Thats funny Mom

Steph said...

LOL ! thanks for the laugh... so true!

Betsy said...

And with Five Men in my family, I may have to sign them all up! LOL.....too funny!

Renie Burghardt said...

Hahaha, I needed a good laugh before going to bed! And no comment from Abe? Uh-oh! Hahaha.

Good night, Patty.

Renie

Tomate Farcie said...

Thank you for the comment you left on my little photoblog this morning, but really the pleasure is all mine!

This joke is absolutely hilarious and made me laugh out loud !!! (I'm still laughing as I type!!)

Thank you! :)