Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Hope these don't offend anyone, I found a couple of them funny.

The Best of Late Night...


Did you see Barack wearing that traditional Jewish yarmulke? He looked very Jewish. In fact, Jesse Jackson said, "I’d like to circumcise him." - Jay Leno

It was announced today that Los Angeles is banning plastic bags. So say goodbye to Pamela Anderson. - Craig Ferguson

Osama bin Laden’s driver is on trial. The charges are terrorism, conspiracy, making an illegal left turn . . .
- David Letterman

This week, NBC News defended their coverage of Barack Obama. They’ve been accused of giving him more favorable treatment than John McCain. And today NBC News denied it. They said, “That’s ridiculous. We’ve never even heard of John McCain.” - Jay Leno

New pictures of Britney Spears have emerged . . . holding a pack of cigarettes while her son, Sean Preston, has a lighter in his hand. At least they’re spending quality time together. A lot of moms don’t make time to smoke with their kids. - Jimmy Kimmel

Barack Obama is now over in the Middle East. And did you see him playing basketball with our troops in Iraq? Did you see that one shot he made from 40 feet? Let me tell you something: If shooting baskets is now a requirement to be president, a white guy may never have that job again.- Jay Leno

Barack Obama is behaving very presidential. He’s in the Middle East, and he met with leaders of Israel and Jordan. Not to be outdone, John McCain was in the park today playing checkers with Ed Koch. - David Letterman

"Batman" made $150 million over the weekend. The only place with longer lines was customers trying to get their money out of IndyMac Bank. - Jay Leno

It was so hot today, Vice President Dick Cheney replaced his pacemaker with an ice maker. So hot today, former Gov. Eliot Spitzer was dating a girl named Margarita. So hot today, that thing on Donald Trump’s head was panting. - David Letterman

Barack Obama was in Baghdad today meeting with Iraqi leaders. They all asked the same question: “When can you start?” - Craig Ferguson

9 comments:

Jack and Joann said...

Oh, so funny. I loved each and every one. Keep up the great work!

Gramma Ann said...

They were all funny, but esp. liked: "that thing on Donald Trumps head was panting." LOL...

Abraham Lincoln said...

These were funny. I wish there were more jokes about that old man who claims to be a new style Republican.

Abraham Lincoln
—Brookville Daily Photo

Diane said...

Loved 'em all. I laughed out loud. Thanks for sharing the humor!!

Tomate Farcie said...

Hahaha!! Good ones!

Renie Burghardt said...

These were all funny, Patty. Easy to understand funny. Haha. But I wonder who Abe is talking about? LOL

Good night, Patty.

Betsy said...

Hilarious!

Paz said...

LOL! These ARE funny! ;-)

Paz

Nancy said...

These were all quite funny! I love something to make me laugh. Being alone, one doesn't laugh much...or even talk much! LOL There are some good writers out there who write all this! How do they think all this stuff up? LOL

(((((( HUGS ))))))