Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How True

Men Are Just Happier People!


NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

12 comments:

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ These are all so funny and so true and good for a laugh.
Thank for your comments, and my wrist of fine and we do nothing, which is good. I hope to get to bed earlier, I try for midnight, but it often creeps over that. Take care, my friend, and
have a good night's sleep.Love,Merle.

raccoonlover1963 said...

Hi Patty. Your post is always good to put a smile on my face! :)
Lisa

Nancy said...

These are all so true!!! You made me laugh this morning!!! I would like to borrow these and send to my email friends. This is a totally new one for me!!! LOL

(((HUGS)))

Old Wom Tigley said...

Some very wise words indeed Patty... and some fun ones to ;O)

Betsy said...

I love this....I'm laughing out loud!

Mississippi Songbird said...

I love the marriage one ..lol

Thanks for sharing the funnies.

Lorraine said...

This is so funy, but then the truth is so much funnier than fiction, thanks for sharing sweet Lady :)

Tomate Farcie said...

Pretty funny stuff. Love the bathroom one ;)

Renie Burghardt said...

How true, how true! LOL. I always enjoy your funnies, and go to bed with a chuckle.

Good night, Patty!


Renie

Wanda said...

After my depressing post on the "enemy" ~~~ You make me smile again over and over....

Patty I so appreciate your comment on the Cancer post...it was so meaningful and I know others felt the same way.

Have a great day.

Abraham Lincoln said...

You even made my scar shake up and down.

Melinda said...

pretty funny mom!