Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A little football humor

Futbol Funnies...


After a visit to the doctor, Joe Bloggs, the city team's centre forward dropped in to his local pub for a quick one. "What's up mate?" asked his friend Brian, "you look worried."

"Yes, I am," Joe replied. "I've just been to the doctor's and he told me I can't play football."

"Oh, really?" said Brian. "He's seen you play too then, has he?"

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An American visitor to England watched his very first football match and was struck by the differences between English and American football.

After the match he fell into conversation with one of the English players and remarked, 'You know, over in the States, our players wear thick protective clothing. You guys must be frozen stiff in those light clothes.'

'It's not so bad,' said the Englishman. 'Sometimes the ground is covered in snow.'

'You don't say!' exclaimed the American. 'What do you do about the balls? Paint them red?'

'Oh, no,' said the player. 'We just wear an extra pair of shorts.'

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The top scorer of a Premier League team was tragically killed in a car accident. Seeing an opportunity for glory, the reserve striker went to see the manager.

"How about me taking his place?" he asked.

"Well, I'm not sure about that," said the manager, "we'll have to speak to the undertaker first."

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The Devil was constantly challenging St Peter to a game of soccer, but St Peter refused, until one day while walking around' heaven he discovered that quite a number of international footballers had entered the 'pearly gates'.

"I think I'll arrange to play that soccer game," said St Peter to the Devil. "We have a great number of international soccer stars in heaven at the moment from which to select a winning team."

"You'll lose, you'll lose!" taunted the Devil. "What makes you so sure we'll lose?" enquired St Peter. "Because," laughed the Devil, "we have all the referees down here."

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A woman was reading a newspaper one morning and said to her husband,

'Look at this, dear. There's an article here about a man who traded his wife for a season ticket to Arsenal. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?'

'Of course I wouldn't!' replied her husband. 'The season's almost over!'
I'll leave you with a Mark Twain quote:
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." - Mark Twain

10 comments:

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Great football jokes, the referees are all in hell !!
I had a look at your other blog and it looks nice and clear etc. Thanks
for your comments about Olive and also the jokes. I am so sorry you still have hot flashes, but it is good that you have a remote with your fan. In summer if I put mine on and it gets cool, I have to get up to turn it off. (an overhead one).Take care, my friend and sleep well. Love, Merle.

raccoonlover1963 said...

I have now started my day off with a good laugh! Thanks Patty.
Lisa

Tomate Farcie said...

:-D

Wanda said...

Great jokes today ~~ My husband would enjoy those too.

Patty I did make the dessert...In fact I took a picture to post!!

Thanks for the idea ~~ I changed it a little, but then I usually do!

Shionge said...

Yes as they say too...Laughter is the best medicine :D

Renie Burghardt said...

Although I'm not usually up on football, these were funny! So I go to bed laughing, as usual after visiting here.

Good night, Patty!

Renie

PS. You have another blog? I'll have to come back and check it out tomorrow. Now, it's time to hit the sack.

ArleneWKW said...

I especially like the ones where the manager say "we'll have to speak to the undertaker first" and where the Devil says "we have all the referees down here."

Diane said...

You always have great jokes. You give me a great laugh to make the day!

Hugs,
Diane

Lorraine said...

Oh Gosh they are so funny Patty, thanks for the chuckle, I'll have to visit you first in the morning so that I start 0with a smile ;)

Nancy said...

More good ones! My day started hours ago, and this is a good way to start my kitty chores...with a smile!

(((HUGS)))