Never trust a dog to watch your food.
When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.
Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching.
Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning.
Never ask for anything that costs more than $5.00 when your
parents are doing taxes.
Never tell your mom her diet is not working.
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when
she's on the phone.
Never try to baptize a cat.