Wednesday, July 09, 2008

There should be one here to bring a smile

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke ...

5.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe .

9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes …

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up!!!!

18.. Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD
.
25..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken,
a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27... The trouble with life is there's no background music .

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!


9 comments:

Abraham Lincoln said...

You are a special guest on my blog. Come on over and make a suggestion as to what I can get my Patty after 53 years of togetherness.

Patty and I will be celebrating 53 years of marriage on July 12th. Think of it as a long-term relationship.

I have invited bloggers to offer suggestions on a gift for me to give Patty and the list would not be complete without your ideas.

Husband #1
Brookville Daily Photo

Nancy said...

Good Morning, Patty!

I am back! Took a few days off to get some sleep! I put in a rough few days this past week during what we call "crunch" time for one of my jobs when it takes about 20 hours a day of work to get it all done! And I put in 2 of those days in a row! It really wears me out, anymore!

Oh, I love your photo!!! You look so young!!!

I smiled at all 29 things! That was a great post! I am going to try and post again today myself. I have so much I could write about but just can't get to it all. LOL Just so busy all the time, it seems. Rode along with my daughter yesterday to Greenville with her "Buster" cat to have his stpales removed. He no longer has to stay in the pen, and she called last night to tell me he was checking "his" house all over! It was cancer of the lymph nodes and bowels, and the mass on his liver was benign. So he is consulting with the oncologists on staff there to see if chemo will do him good at this stage. Heartbreaking news....but she will have him a little while longer. I told her they're not really ours, that God just loans them to us for reasons of His own.

Have a good week!

(((HUGS)))

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

Thanks for the chuckles and belly laughs, Mrs. L.

Wishing you a wonderful day.

Old Wom Tigley said...

No.2.. thats me for sure.

Renie Burghardt said...

Hi Patty,

These are all good, but my favorites are number one and number eight!

Wanda said...

I've been busy helping with my grandchildren as my daughter has been very sick with the flu...

I always enjoy your post, and will try to catch up tomorrow.

raccoonlover1963 said...

I think whoever wrote some of these sayings must know me! Always a pick-me up to read your blogs.
Lisa

Tomate Farcie said...

Yup. I can identify with a couple of these! In fact, I'm checking to see if I have all my parts right now (No. 9) ;)


If I don't have a chance to come back before the week-end, I wish you both a very happy anniversary!

LauriesAsylum said...

Haha, those were great Patty!

Happy Early Anniversary! That's a wonderful thing, 53 years together!