Thursday, August 07, 2008

A Lexophile is a lover of words!!! It would be a good Scrabulous word

HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES

-I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

-Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

-Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

-To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

-The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

-A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

-When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

-The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

-The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

-A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

-A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

-A will is a dead giveaway.

-A backward poet writes inverse.

-A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion

-With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

-A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum blown apart.

-He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

-A calendar's days are numbered.

-A boiled egg is hard to beat.

-If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine!

-When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

-Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

-Acupuncture: a jab well done.

10 comments:

raccoonlover1963 said...

That was great, Patty!
Lisa

Abraham Lincoln said...

I guess I never knew the correct name for these. Fabulous.

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

Clever use and combination of words. I got quite a few chuckles from these. Thanks!

Gramma Ann said...

So funny;) and I learned a new word:"Scrabulous"

Have a nice day...

The 4th Sister said...

Just came over for a little laugh...glad you gave me one

Wanda said...

Oh what fun ~~ I guess some people in the world just have the gift of "cleverness" ~~

I love them all, but living in Southern CA... the UCLA was cute.

Love and Hugs
Wanda

Martin Stickland said...

Okay Mrs! The games up, now tell me, where do you get all this funny stuff from????

Are you two okay? it's wet here... booo!

Hope you are both fighting fit!

Love Martin

Renie Burghardt said...

These were all great, Patty! Dead give away, haha, I guess so!

Our weather has been marvellous!

Have a good night.

Renie

Tomate Farcie said...

Hahaha! knead to know, hahaha!!

Fantastic, and now I'm relaxed and ready to go to bed! Thank you! :)

Nancy said...

I loved the boiled egg one!!! Funny! In the South they say "bawled" egg. LOL