Wednesday, August 06, 2008

That's How The Fight Got Started

I Swear


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'

And then the fight started.....
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked,' Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....
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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And that's how the fight started.....

10 comments:

Gramma Ann said...

Oh, how those fights get started...those are funny...another chuckle to get my day started...

Abraham Lincoln said...

That first one is about the truth.

raccoonlover1963 said...

That's cute!
Lisa

Jack and Joann said...

Thanks for stopping by and chatting with us yesterday.
J&J

Wanda said...

HaHaHa HaHaHa ~~ I knew if I came by I would get a laugh and feel a lot better...and I did ~~ and I do.

Thanks Patty.

The 4th Sister said...

Always good for a laugh!

Shionge said...

It started my day on a right note thank you :D

Renie Burghardt said...

Good ones, Patty! Going to bed laughing is a good thing. Now I just hope Blogger works. It didn't when I was over Ann's.

It's raining out and much cooler and I'm going to bed happy! Good night, Patty.

Love,

Renie

Tomate Farcie said...

Too funny!!! (except maybe the first one, that one is almost sad!) I'm going to bed light hearted, thank you! :)

Nancy said...

I have no one to fight with anymore! LOL But it's still fun to read stuff like these. You gave me a few chuckles after a long day's work!!! Thanks, Patty!