A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
8 comments:
Do you have a lot of bird poop around your yard-- like that first line---birds of a feather flock together and poop? I know Abe attracts flocks and flocks of birds and other assorted wildlife (like some of his commentaters).
These are so funny, esp. the one about: "The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight..." I hope you don't mind, I would like to e-mail these to my daughters.
And the "Aging" ones are right on!!
Have a happy day;))
Patty ~~ checking a few of my favorites before heading down to Julie's. She just called and sounds so much better. No nausea this morning.... Yeah! Maybe the medicine is kicking in along with all the prayers.
Will give you an update after the results today...
You are a dear and special friend, and I thank you.
LOL:Wanda
Good ones again, Patty. I guess aging lends itself to jokes. Just like blondes do. Hahaha.
The beautiful weather continues, thank the Lord.
Have a good night!
Renie
Luckily, the birds of a feather are nowhere near my vehicles! They stay in the side yards where the trees and bird feeder are! Great post!
Lisa
"If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. " Well, that's true, I haven't so I'll go right on thinking that. :)
Pretty funny stuff, my favorites are towards the end ;) !
Thank you for all the laughs, Mrs. Lincoln!
AMEN! These were all great! Think I'll borrow these and send out to my email list.
(((((( HUGS ))))))
Again, you've made me laugh...LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Diane
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