1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes in-verse.
21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!
9 comments:
I smiled all the way through this assortment of truisms.
You always know how to get my morning started with a smile.
Have a nice week-end.
Dear Patty ~~ These were good and the joke yesterday was also good. Glad you like my ne Header, btw yours is beautiful
and it's always a pleasure to come here and see it. Glad your weather is still nice, we got to 32C today which is 8F- it
doesn't need to overdo it so soon!!
I hope you got some rain - we are desperate for some here. Take care, my friend. Love, Merle.
These were all funny, but I think the canibal eating the Missionary and getting a taste of religion made me laugh out loud!! Now that's real "Evangelism" (haha)
The one that got me giggling was the one about the cops checking the hole in the wall at the nudist camp.
Greg was here 2 days and cut some grass, then we spent today at the cabin on the river. Beautiful weather, but we need rain badly!
Have a lovely Sunday!
Renie
Patty I loved your puns, all made me laugh.
As to those who have said they need rain, well all the rain must be in Rhode Island and the east coast. Please take some it has been raining non stop for 48 hours. Very cold and damp and miserable to go outdoors. I do hope Sunday brings us the sun.
Thanks for the smiles and chuckles.:)
This is a great beginning of the day! Thanks for making the day so bright!.
Do you still keep in touch with out efx2 friends? I stopped blogging there altogether. I like it here.
What a great to end my day before I head off to bed for the rest of the night.
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