Time for a couple of blonde jokes

Sorry to all of my blonde friends

Blonde in Church
An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.

This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.

Now, I want the party who did this to stand and as forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'

No one moved.

The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.

Now stand and confess your transgression. '

Again all was quiet. Then slowly, a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,

'Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.'

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.=============
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Pregnant Neighbor

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'What the heck?' and I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, 'I have some really great news!'

I said, 'Great. Tell me why you're so happy.'

She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her, 'That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!'

Then she said, 'There's more!'

I asked, 'What do you mean 'more'?'

She said, 'Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!'

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said....

'Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wall-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!'
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One of the greatest secrets of life is having patience & wisdom...