Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Got any money left?

Investment tips for 2009

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2009:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally....

9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang



Kathleen said...

That is too good Darlin!!

Thank you for the morning giggle!

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Great minds think alike. I
posted this last night too. It is quite good. Glad you liked the Tablecloth story - it was a nice one, even when you had read it before. The twin forgetting her twin's birthday was pretty lax.
Take good care, dear friend, Love, Merle.

Reader Wil said...

Hi Patty You always manage to make me laugh! Good on you! Thanks for your visit. This place keeps me far more busy than efx2. I like it!

Wanda said...

Oh those are the best mergers....

I laughed at each one of them!!

Oh Patty keep them coming...I aways need a smile in the morning.


Winifred said...

Nice one Patty!

Gramma Ann said...

Patty, I have already forwarded it to the family;) Thanks.

Abraham Lincoln said...

These are funny.

Preston said...

Thanks for the laguhs, but I'm too afraid to look at my 401k cause I know I'd cry. Does that make me a bad person?

Shionge said...

I love the FEDUP part :D

Renie Burghardt said...

Aw, shucks, these sound too good to pass up, but unfortunately, I must! My piggy bank is broke.

Have a good night!


photowannabe said...

Too funny Patty. Yes, you are right. Its going to be forwarded.

Tomate Farcie said...

That's a good one!!! (And also the first time I'm able to laugh about the market, actually. Thank you for that!!) FedUP with that bear market for sure!!

Thank you also for your recent visits and comments, much appreciated :)

Nancy said...

Loved this one!!! Wonder who has the time to sit and think these things up!

(((((( HUGS ))))))

Sue said...

I love it and Yes I did forward it to my frineds. It made me laugh. we all need a little (lot)more laughter in our lives.