Thursday, November 06, 2008

Interesting Quotes


These glorious insults are from an era before the English language had gotten boiled down to 4-letter words :

A Member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'

'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter Kerr

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' - Winston Churchill

'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.' Clarence Darrow

'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' - Moses Hadas

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.' - Winston Churchill, in response.

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' - Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.'- Irvin S. Cobb

'He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.' Samuel Johnson

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' - Paul Keating

'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.' - Charles, Count Talleyrand

'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' - Forrest Tucker

'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?' - Mark Twain

'Her mother should have thrown her away and kept the stork.' - Mae West

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' - Oscar Wilde

'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.' - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' - Billy Wilder

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.' - Groucho Marx

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison.' He said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'


Twisted Fencepost said...

Great quotes, Patty!
I'll have to keep some of those in my head, just in case!

Kathleen said...

Where do you find these?

Gramma Ann said...

That Churchill had a dry wit about him, didn't he? But, then a lot of the English do, which makes their statements so much funnier. I have always liked Twains humor as well.

The 4th Sister said...

I love these!!!

Winifred said...

They would have made a fortune writing film scripts today. As you say too much reliance on four letter words (or longer). Boring!

carl h. sr. said...

I wish that I could hold most of those in my head,for later use!

Annake said...

Hahahahahaha! Too funny. I'm going to have to use some of them when I get a chance. ;-)


These are very funny!

In college I took a whole course on the works of Sam Johnson. He had a lot of zingers!

I wish I had a quick wit. I am more like George Costanza from Seinfeld, who thinks of his insults two days later!

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

It was fun reading all these. Thanks! Most current day folks seem to have lost the art of the skillful insult.

Tomate Farcie said...

Hahahaha!!! Some really good ones in there! Love it!

Renie Burghardt said...

These are very funny and witty! Churchill was very witty. So was George Bernard Shaw. Mark Twain as well. I like the one from Faulkner abour Hemingway: 'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' -

That one is extremely funny to me. Writers can be so mean about each other. Hahaha.

We had some showers, but no major rain, and it was only in the 60s today. But not bad at all.

Patty, I emailed you about the old email you sent me and I just found yesterday. Hope you received it.

Have a good night.


Preston said...

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Priyanka Khot said...

Too good... I cannot help but laugh out loud at these of so cool insults...

Nancy said...

I love the quote of Mae West's! Great bunch of quotes you have here!

(((((( HUGS ))))))