Thursday, November 20, 2008

Pleassssssse,

No Mushrooms

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom - smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive.

She then told her husband, 'No mushrooms. They are too high.' He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.' She said, 'No, some wild mushrooms are poison.' He said, 'Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK.'

So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet
watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 and dominoes.

About then, the helper lady from town came in and whispered in Janet's ear. She said, 'Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died.'

Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, 'That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them
calm.'

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, 'I think everything will be fine now.' and he left.

They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and said, 'You know, that fellow who ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped.
Serves her right, feeding them to the poor ole dog first to see what would happen.


14 comments:

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ Poor dog and how funny and made all the street get out and share their stories and help each other.
Thank you for the comments and 28F does sound cold. Glad you had a good sleep last night. I usually do. Take care,
Love, Merle.

Rottlady of the Ozarks said...

Thank you for my morning laugh. This is really funny!

Winifred said...

Oh that's black! Really funny.

nituscorner said...

That was a good reminder for me too....i should check the mushrooms before i buy them.But that was a quick thought....stitch in time ...saves nine!!!!

carl h. sr. said...

Misunderstandings make for some of the most hilarious scenarios.
This certainly is a funny one.
I just e-mailed you a joke as well.
If you liked it enough you could sure use it.I may have seen it here before though.
You know how memory can be tricky sometimes.
I visit and enjoy 'oldladylincoln' every morning,I am just too lazy to comment every day.I visit quite a few sites.

carl h. sr. said...

What a pain,I just read your comment about unwelcome comments.
I think I have one of those twisted letter things on mysight to keep out creeps like that.

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

Thanks for the grin!

Loved the laughing baby video.

Gramma Ann said...

After reading this I don't think I'll eat another mushroom. ;)

Betsy said...

Oh funny....this gave me a good laugh!

Preston said...

Funny and you got me on that one!

Wanda said...

Oh another really funny one...again, those twist endings.

Renie Burghardt said...

Oi Veh, what an ending to the dinner! LOL.

Going to be cold tonight and tomorrow.

Have a good night, Patty.

Renie

Tomate Farcie said...

That's funny, but Claude in France just posted a whole post about the mushrooms in her garden!

Her post is entitled "killer mushrooms" and she has some beautiful specimens there.

http://du-four-au-jardin-et-mes-dix-doigts.blogspot.com/2008/11/champignons-tueurs.html

Perfect timimg, these photographs, to go with your joke!

Good night!

Cat said...

Poor Ol' Spot.