Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Some Smiles

And Chuckles

I hope you enjoy some of them.

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor’s office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist’s desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother’s lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man’s, he said, “I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too.”
As I was nursing my baby, my cousin’s six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, “My mom has some of those, but I don’t think she knows how to use them.”

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. “In ten years,” I said, “you’ll want to be with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now. Carolyn shrugged. “In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those things anyway.”
Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. “No, no, no!” she screamed. “Lizzie,” scolded her mother, “that’s not polite behavior.” With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you!” “No, thank you!”
On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. “Dad, I know that babies come from mommies” tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?” he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. “You don’t have to make something up, Dad. It’s OK if you don’t know the answer.”
Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. “I’m going to be away for a long time,” I told him. “I’m going to Iraq.” “Why?” he asked. “Don’t you know there’s a war going on over there?”
Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS and blood diseases. One afternoon he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn’t know that Newman was a famous movie star, explained, “That’s the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you’ve seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?” Blank stares. “Well, you’ve probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.” An eight year-old girl perked up. “How long was he missing?”
His wife’s grave side service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.


Twisted Fencepost said...

Those are funny, Patty.
Especially the last one.

Arkansas Patti said...

Most were new to me and I really enjoyed the morning chuckle. Chuckling goes so well with coffee and is not fattening. Thanks so much.

dyanna said...

I love your post! Everytime you write something this funny it makes my day!

Granny on the Web said...

I love these. There used to be a programme on TV about the things Kids say. I wish it was now one of the many repeats they show, but somehow it stays in the archives, and never sees the light of day again!
Many cheers to you Patty.
Love Granny

Renie Burghardt said...

Now all these sound like what kids would actually say themselves. Very cute and funny. I enjoyed them.

We've had 2 days of heavy rain around here, but I went to the Chinese Buffet anyway, today.

Hope all is well with you, Patty. Don't you ever go on Facebook anymore and play Farkle or some other game or take a quiz? I never see you anymore.

Have a good night.


Rosy said...

Even though I found a couple of to be repeats, they all still give me a good chuckle again. And my favorite always been the first one.

Thank you Patty a great way to end my night before I go to bed.

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ They were all so funny and just what kids would say. I did
enjoy them. I liked the 'stroller' one and 'don't you know there's a
war going on in Iraq?'
Glad you enjoyed my jokes too.
I hope that the results of your and
Abe's bloodwork are all good news.
Hope you got the mowing done. I pay to get mine done now. Your hair will
soon grow again, sometimes they do get carried away. Take care, my
friend, Love, Merle.

Siru said...

I liked these jokes. Can I copy them to my website?