Wednesday, September 30, 2009

These are new to me, hope you enjoy them.

Dictionary

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means. With Idiot For Ever

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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one everyday.

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Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

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Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents

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Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

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Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband. You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

8 comments:

Twisted Fencepost said...

Oh, boy. Those are sad, but funny.

Arkansas Patti said...

A good zinger post. Very funny.

Brenda said...

Those were funny Patty. I think one thing that really keeps a marrage going is a good sense of humor and the ability to joke back and forth like that. Occasionally we joke back and forth that way. Enjoy your day and I hope your eyes are better today!

nituscorner said...

too good patty. am rolling with laughter.

√ Abraham Lincoln said...

Funny. I think some of them are not so funny. Seems like they are meant for me.

Margaret Cloud said...

These are so true, I like husband and wife jokes, very funny post.

Renie Burghardt said...

Well, I thk some of these are a tad mean spirited, but funny, of course.

Awww, and poor Abe! Haha.

Another beautiful day here. We went to a new restaurant today called Bistro 33, just to try something different. It was very nice, kind of fancy even, but I missed the Hot and Sour Soup!

Oh, and yes, the politician, Tom Delay should have been bumped last night. He sure can't dance. Maybe next week. Donny Osmond does quite well though, doesn't he?

Have a good night, Patty!

Tomate Farcie said...

I think the guy who wrote these jokes had marital problems. ;)