Friday, November 20, 2009

This post may be more for ADULTS

Ten Thoughts to Ponder


Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2009
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; What you do today, might Burn Your A** Tomorrow"

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15 comments:

Reader Wil said...

How clever to find those ten thoughts! LOL. Thank you Patty!

I like this one:
"All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism!"

Arkansas Patti said...

Oh my, a lot of truth there in them thar laughs.

nituscorner said...

too good patty. i loved each one of them . kept me laughing for a while.

dyanna said...

These are really funny.I love the third one.
Have a nice week-end.

Alan Burnett said...

Oh these made me laugh out loud. And on a dull wet day in England that is quite an achievement.

Reader Wil said...

Thanks Patty for the comment. The cows however never go into the water; they always go over bridges. I don't know why their legs are muddy. Their skin is black and white because they are Frysians.

Gramma Ann said...

I like #5, "Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing." That one sure does not include me.

Reader Wil said...

Sorry Patty! I see what you mean, their legs and tails are very muddy, but I don't know why.
Have a great and less muddy weekend!

Beth Niquette said...

Oh, hahahaaa...that is just TOO funny!

How blessed you are to be able to spend time with your granddaughter! I am not a Granny yet--but I am an Auntie--which is nearly as good, I'm told.

I get to see my darling Malaya tonight! Woohoo!

Cheryl said...

Oh Patty, you continue to make my day! Have a wonderful weekend!

Margaret Cloud said...

Very thought provoking, I liked #2, 7 and #8 is naughty. Thanks for coming by.

Renie Burghardt said...

Haha, these are great! Number 3 is right on, well, they all are! Haha.

Have a great weekend!

Renie

Anna said...

lol lol Patty, these are good.

You said: 'And The Number 1 Thought For 2009
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; What you do today, might Burn Your A** Tomorrow"' - and I add 'it may be a wise idea to keep a toilet paper in the freezer in that case'

Anna :)

Twisted Fencepost said...

So true!
Especially #1.

Tomate Farcie said...

Hahaha!
Number 8 (Men have two emotions)

3 emotions: thirsty!