Monday, June 07, 2010

New Words - Old Words

New Words, Old Words - Part One...


Here are a list of new words that we could probably use in this new world...tomorrow we'll have old words with new meanings!

1. Cashtration: The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass.

3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of having sex.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

12. Karmageddon: It's like when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half of a worm in the fruit you're eating.

7 comments:

Abraham Lincoln said...

The DeCafalon one is what we should all do.

Ann said...

These are right on. And they brought a smile to my face this morning.

Beth Niquette said...

Oh these are just wonderful--thanks for the laugh. Today is going to be a very hard day.

Ann said...

That was a fun read and I had a few chuckles along with it.

Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

I love language humour. These are very funny and creative.

Shionge said...

So cute...do you know our concert hall here is known as The Esplanade :)

Margaret Cloud said...

These are so good, I especially like #17.Thank you for coming by, .