Tuesday, June 15, 2010

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

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A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

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"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr


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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill


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"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow


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"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


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"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas


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"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain


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"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde


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"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.


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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop


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"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright


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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb


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"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson


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"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


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"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand


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"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker


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"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain


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"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West


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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde


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"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

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"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

12 comments:

Jinksy said...

And insults don't come any better than this collection!

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Hi Patty = How are you doing? I thought I'd ask you to join a blog hop on my blog called The Power of A Smile. You are so good at making people smile....do come and join.
Warm regards

Arkansas Patti said...

You are right. Four letter words stiffle creative dialog.

Helen said...

Cute ones. Have a great day. Helen

Lady Di Tn said...

LOL The last one and Mae West sent me into peels of merriment. Thanks for sharing. Peace

Anonymous said...

The Churchill one I like. I have heard it before.

Gigi Ann said...

Those were some good ones, now if only I could remember them.

Cheryl said...

Haha...I especially liked the quote from Mae West!

Merle said...

Hi Patty ~~ I liked all these insults before the 4 letter words
took over our language, and the ones in the previous post were all good too. You always have such interesting
posts my friend, Take care.
Love, Merle.

Renie Burghardt said...

Priceless insults. Churchill was quite witty, as was Mark Twain. And Faulkner was sure correct about Hemingway! LOL.

Clytie said...

I like what Ann said -- if only I could remember these at the appropriate times!

Twisted Fencepost said...

Those are good ones.
Wish I could think that quickly.