Monday, August 09, 2010

Love these


Got from a blogging friendCheryl

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers that were taken off police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."


Arkansas Patti said...

I've actually had #1 said to me by my ex.
Ouch, that last one just hurts. Too funny.

Reader Wil said...

Ha, ha ... Thanks for the good laugh you gave me! ;)

Charles said...

That's some good ones. When I worked at Temple P.D. & later rode with Denny, we laughed at the comments made by those being arrested; of which the most said was: "You can't do this to me".

mommanator said...

those are too funny

mommanator said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dyanna said...

Very funny.I love it.
Have a wonderful day.

Wanda said...

Oh those are so funny. Would you believe in my 53 years of driving, I've had two tickets...and of course they weren't my fault...haha

Renie Burghardt said...

These are great! Too funny as well. My older son, who'se been a policeman for almost 30 years, will get a big charge out of these.

Have a good night, Patty.


Margaret Cloud said...

These are pretty good, my son watchs Cops a lot, I never pay attention to what is being said.