Saturday, September 18, 2010

Will & Guy's Mother-in-law jokes

Mother-in-law Jokes

* My mother-in-law is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder.

* Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.

* What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are Wanted.

* I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's chamber of horrors and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stocktaking.'

* Fred and Rick were in a pub. Fred says to his mate, 'My mother-in-law is an angel.'
Rick replies, 'You're lucky. Mine is still alive.'

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* Will and Guy's Favourite Mother-in-law Joke

Harry was travelling down a country road in his native Yorkshire, England when he saw a large group of people outside a farmhouse.
It was a cold January afternoon, so he stopped and asked Farmer Giles why such a large crowd of men was gathered there.

The farmer replied, 'Eddie's donkey kicked his mother-in-law and she died.'

'Well,' replied the man, 'She must have had a lot of friends.'

'Nope,' said Giles.' We all just want to buy his donkey.'

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* Short Mother in law Jokes

1) Overheard in a restaurant:
She: This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste.
He: Are you describing the wine or your mother?

2) Open Door Policy
The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
She said, 'Can I stay here for a few days?'
I said, 'Sure you can.' And shut the door.

3) Newlywed Surprise
The newlywed wife, Monica, said to her husband , Nick, when he returned from work, 'I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two.'
Nick started glowing with happiness and kissing Monica purred, 'Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world.'
Monica smiled and added, 'I'm glad that you feel that way, Nick, because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us.'

4) Final Complaint
Tomorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral...and she's cancelled it.
Paul: I was sorry to hear that your mother-in-law died. What was the complaint?
Phil: We haven't had any yet.

6 comments:

Abraham Lincoln said...

I love you. Glad you are now able to wear both of your hearing aids.

And, this was a nice post. I laughed at the one with the Angel...

Arkansas Patti said...

Love mother in law jokes even though I had one just a delightful one.
Abe answered my question about the hearing aids. Congrats.

Patty said...

Patti, I had a great mother-in-law also. She always took my side which was nice. LOL She never gave me any advice or stuck her nose into our business.

Abe, I love you to, and I'm also glad the lady could help with the hearing aids. Only thing is, I have to get use to wearing two again, things are so much louder.

Renie Burghardt said...

I enjoyed these, Patty. But I must add that my MIL was an angel on earth. Her son wasn't, but she was! LOL.

Have a nice evening and a good Sunday.

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ I loved the video, thank you for posting it. Loved the mother-in-law jokes, though I never had one (good or bad) and the Mother's dictionary were all so
good. Thanks again.
Glad you liked the cowboy with the
over-sized boots. I hope you get used to the hearing aids quickly.
Take care, Love, Merle.

AdornmentsbyMilani.com said...

Thanks for the MIL jokes. I was looking for a very mild non-offensive one and found several. My MIL is a dear, so I am truly blessed! Not that I'm gloating or anything:)