Monday, June 20, 2011

Received in my email this morning

Idle Thoughts Of A
Retiree's Wandering Mind:

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it
********************
I had amnesia once---or twice
********************
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
********************
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic!!!!
********************
All I ask is ONE chance, JUST one, to prove that money can't make me happy
********************
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
********************
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
********************
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
********************
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
********************
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
********************
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
********************
My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.
********************
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
********************
How can there be self-help "groups"?
********************
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
********************
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off
********************
Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
********************

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

4 comments:

reanaclaire said...

gosh.. some sound like me! :)

Lady Di Tn said...

Protron being Catholic was a hoot. Peace

Arkansas Patti said...

Those are funny. The proton and the men riding side saddle cracked me up.

Clytie said...

Love these! I heard another one ...

Show me a man with a song in his heart and I'll show you a man with an AM/FM pacemaker!

Thank you for the giggles!