Friday, July 08, 2011

From Will and Guy

Today something a little different. We bet that at least one of these sayings will strike a chord. At least another will keep ricocheting around brain.

Never judge a book by its movie.- JW Eagan

"Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it."- Cullen Hightower

"A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell."- George Bernard Shaw

"If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day."- John A. Wheeler

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.- Groucho Marx

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.- Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.- Sue Murphy

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.- Doug Larson

I never know how much of what I say is true.- Bette Midler

People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness.- Heather Armstrong

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."- Ernest Benn

"In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known."- Thomas Pickering

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."- Andy Rooney

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."- Alfred Hitchcock

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time."- Tallulah Bankhead

"Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them."- HL Mencken

"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money."- Joey Bishop

"The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."- Ronald Reagan

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."- Will Rogers

"I hate music, especially when it's played."- Jimmy Durante

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."- Isaac Asimov

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad."- Salvador Dali

"If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?"

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."- Hunter S. Thompson

1 comment:

Arkansas Patti said...

That was a bountiful crop of quotes. Loved them all.