Saturday, September 10, 2011

If you live in Florida or plan on moving there, remember:

THE FLORIDA CODE

When giving directions in Florida, you should always start with the words, "take I-75, take I-4 or take I-95..."

If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot drive between the hours of 6 AM - 10 AM and 4 PM - 7 PM. This is considered to be rush hour and you're not in any rush. No Exceptions....

Tolls are a fact of life down here, the state has to make money, so deal with it!

I-275 (Tampa area) will always be under construction... that's the law, there is nothing anyone can do about it, period!

'A1A' and 'ALT A1A' are the same road.

Traffic lights aren't timed and never will be. We measure the distance we travel in time - not miles.

If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in any part of Florida without seeing an orange 'Bob's Barricade', you're lost!

If you miss your exit on I-75, I-4 or I-275, its perfectly acceptable to back up!!

Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (i.e. Adamo = Rt. 60) just for the hell of it.

Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection, eight more go through on yellow, and 4 more on red.

Know the difference between Sun Pass, Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel, and Sun Trust.

Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as dress casual.

Your blinker means nothing.

English is our first and second language.

It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.

We have alligators here in Florida and they WILL bite you. Don't be stupid and try to feed or pet one.

When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have advanced warning and you are told to be prepared, you're not a true Floridian unless you wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up plywood or to Publix to stock up water, ice, beer, and potato chips.

You know how to spell Okeechobee. There is an Okeechobee Lake, Town, County, Blvd, Street, and Avenue.

A true Floridian does NOT own a boat. They make friends with someone who already owns one. That way you don't have to deal with any of the headaches.

There's always a Walgreen across the street from a CVS on almost every corner - with more being built every day.

When picking up a woman on South Beach, always check for an Adams apple.

It's normal to sweat when you are putting up your Holiday decorations.

There is a city called 'The Villages' where 77,000 old people live that drive golf carts and dance in the streets.

Jupiter is a city, not a planet.

Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays. Not weeknights or weekends - that's for the working folks.

There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper, and also a football team.

You can't say; 'this is how we did it up north'. If you think that way, then go back up north. Just remember, I-95 and I-75 run both ways.

No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never, ever be able to figure out your property taxes.

Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside. But, inside any restaurant or business it's 55 degrees.

These are the things you need to survive a Florida winter: A long sleeved T-shirt, tank top, sunscreen and winter parka.

The same neighbor who smiles at you every day will be the first one to rat you out if you are violating water restrictions.

4 comments:

Roan said...

What a great way to start the day—with laughter.

Abraham Lincoln said...

That road A1A and Alt A1A are truly like Rt 49 and Alt 49 here that goes through Arcanum or straight up past Nancy's place.

Arkansas Patti said...

Lived there most of my life and that is so true. Kind of miss dress casual.

Country Mouse Studio said...

Great way to get to know an area and get a chuckle too