Saturday, August 25, 2012

From Will and Guy

Today something a little different. We bet that at least one of these saying will strike a chord. We think at least the others will keep ricochetting around brain.

Never judge a book by its movie. - JW Eagan

"Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it." - Cullen Hightower

"A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell." - George Bernard Shaw

"If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day." - John A. Wheeler

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

I never know how much of what I say is true. - Bette Midler

People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness. - Heather Armstrong

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." - Ernest Benn

"In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known." - Thomas Pickering

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done." - Andy Rooney

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder." - Alfred Hitchcock

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time." - Tallulah Bankhead

"Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them." - HL Mencken

"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money." - Joey Bishop

"The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it." - Ronald Reagan

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." - Will Rogers

"I hate music, especially when it's played." - Jimmy Durante

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them." - Isaac Asimov

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." - Salvador Dali

"If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?"

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." - Hunter S. Thompson

2 comments:

Honest Abe said...

You have a lot of them here. I enjoyed several of them because they reminded me of myself and also you.

ChrisJ said...

I identify with Andy Rooney and my husband identifies with Alfred Hitchcock!