Friday, July 18, 2014

Blessed Part 1

** Blessed are the Internet junkies, for their time shalt be a net loss.

** Blessed are those who build bridges, for they shalt get over it.

** Blessed are those who recycle motor oil, for they shall be refined.

** Blessed is the TV weatherman, for he shalt talk up a storm.

** Blessed are the undertakers, for they shalt be the last to let you down.

** Blessed are they who knit their own hosiery, for they shalt not get a run for their money.

** Blessed are the auctioneers, for they shall look forbidding.

** Blessed are the breadmakers, for they shalt rise to the occasion.

** Blessed are the nuns, for they shall have no bad habits.

** Blessed are those who stop horseback riding, for they shalt be full of woe.

** Blessed are the thrifty deer hunters, for they shalt get more bang for their buck.

** Blessed are the ministers who make mistakes, for it shall only be a clerical error.

** Blessed are the unionized church workers, for they shalt bargain in good faith.

** Blessed are the watchmakers, for they shalt work overtime.

** Blessed are the religious nuclear engineers, for they shalt have critical mass.

** Blessed are students in Christian schools, for they shalt have good Principals.

** Blessed are the poor losers, for they shalt continue to diet.

** Blessed are those who are multi-lingual, for they shalt be misunderstood in many languages.

** Blessed are those who are in medical school, for they shall become ill-literate.

** Blessed are the unemployed jesters, for they shalt be nobody's fool.

** Blessed are the drama students, for they shalt be a class act.

** Blessed are the bridesmaids, for they shalt be wedding belles.

** Blessed are the landscapers, for they shalt be bushed.

** Blessed are the gymnasts, for they shalt always do good turns.

** Blessed are they who do the ironing, for they shalt not be depressed.

** Blessed are the orchard growers, for their work shall not be fruitless.

** Blessed are they who avoid their in-laws, for they shalt not be relatively annoyed.

** Blessed are the candy-makers, for they shalt make a mint.

** Blessed are they who process lettuce, for they shalt see the tip of the iceberg.

** Blessed are they who own horses, for they shalt have stability.

** Blessed are they who play tennis, for love means nothing to them.

** Blessed are they that wrap leftovers, for they shalt be foiled again.

** Blessed are the fishermen, for they shalt have net income.

** Blessed are the musicians, for they shalt be noteworthy.

** Blessed are those who are tailors, for they shalt be suited for it.

** Blessed are those who drink orange juice, for they shalt be able to concentrate.

** Blessed is he who attends church at more than one denomination, for he shalt be bi-sectual.

** Blessed is he who stops smoking, for he shalt be a quitter.

** Blessed is he who has a word processor, for his words shalt be minced.

** Blessed are those who watch the stars, for their work shalt be astronomical.

** Blessed are those who make perfect bread, for they shalt be a good roll model.

** Blessed are they who make it through April, for they shalt be in dismay.

** Blessed is he who plows in a straight furrow, for he shall be in a rut.

** Blessed are they who give hugs; for they are truly appreciated (more than they'll ever know).

** Blessed are they who have cellular phones, for they shalt receive the call wherever they are.

** Blessed are those who turn off their cellular phones, for they shall have peace.

** Blessed are those who refrain from alcohol, for they shall remain sober.

** Blessed are those who laugh often, for they shalt have strong funnybones.

** Blessed are those who speak as lawyers, for they shalt be brief.

** Blessed are those who meet their mate on the internet, for it shall be love at first site.

** Blessed are the piemakers, for they shall generate fellowship. They are also the "Upper Crust." They Have a Lot of Crust!

** Blessed are those who attend church regularly, for they shall be pewed.


linda said...

Those are some good ones! Makes the English language even harder to understand sometimes. lol Happy Friday!

Eva Gibson said...

It is good to be blessed!