Tuesday, October 25, 2016

LIFE'S SIGNS

Sign on a Shoe Repair store read:
"We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you."

Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.";

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels.";

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.";

On a Plumber's truck :
"We repair what your husband fixed.";

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.";

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout.";

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.";

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.";

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push.";

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.";

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.";

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!";

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.";

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.";

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills.";

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.";

And the best one for last...;
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

3 comments:

Lady Di Tn said...

Good ones. Made me laugh. Peace

Wanda said...

Those are good ones. My daughter said the license plate for the urologist was funny.

UCME2P HAHA.

Abraham Lincoln said...

Happy 80th birthday, Patty. If you ever stop running away from me, I got something for you that you love.