Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Subject: Liquid Assets

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received a $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be an American!

9 comments:

Tomate Farcie said...

Hahaha! 41 Miles per gallon! I had heard of people running the 401 K (4.01 km, about 3 miles, I think) in New York, but I never heard of the 401 Keg!! The things people will come up with! ;)

Thankfully, the DOW shot up yesterday and is off to a good start today. Pfeww. We can only hope.

CINDY BUCKLEY said...

401 Keg!! That's too funny :)

The 4th Sister said...

cute!

bigbikerbob said...

Hi, Love the idea of 41 MPG, blimey my supposed economy car does a lot less than that, but if I ran that far I think my exhaust EMISSIONS could be quite a lot higher than that.

Reader Wil said...

Funny story! Thanks for your visit!

Shionge said...

So the morale of the story? Drink and be merry :)

Renie Burghardt said...

$214 for $1,000 worth of beer cans? Wow, I wonder if my diet coke cans are worth that much? Haha. I'd better start saving those aluminum cans!

Have a good night, Patty.

Renie

Beth65 said...

Sooo funny, thanks, just read your others, all great.

The Mulligan Family said...

Ah! Perfect investment advice. I'm going to go take a look at my 401K plan RIGHT NOW! :-)