Monday, October 26, 2009

Not to offend anyone

Famous characters throughout time had Jewish mothers

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?'

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' JEWISH MOTHER:
'I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write...'

MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?'

NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your jacket and show me!'

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?'

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!'

THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!'

PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!'

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair?'

MOSES' JEWISH MOTHER:
'Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the last forty years?'

BILL GATES' JEWISH MOTHER:
'It would have killed you to become a doctor?'

BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
'Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl.


17 comments:

Hobo ........ ........ ........ said...

COLUMBUS & EDISON - Discovery And Light always important.

Cheryl said...

I loved this post! Oh my word, you made my day with this.

√ Abraham Lincoln said...

I liked all of these.

Tom said...

Excellent ..... Who's 21 tomorrow I wonder... :O)

Arkansas Patti said...

What was with Einstein's hair? Married with 6 girlfriends and still his hair was a mess.

Tomate Farcie said...

These are funny!

Patty said...

Tom, it would certainly be nice to be 21 again, but not if I had to go through everything I've all ready been through. Five babies, way too many surgeries and all of Abe's problems.

Renie Burghardt said...

These were all funny, Patty!

Quick stop here, then to bed. Mckenzie and I have danced along to the every jitterbug on Dancing tonight, and I'm pooped. Tomorrow morning they leave for home. I will miss them!

Have a good night. Sweet birthday dreams for tomorrow.

Renie

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ These are all great quotes from Jewish mothers and I enjoyed all of them.

I hope you are having a wonderful day for your birthday today. I see you and Abe and all the family celebrated together, so that would be lovely for all of you.

Happy Birthday my dear friend and many many more.

Take care, Much Love, Merle.

thelaughinghousewife said...

Hi and happy birthday!

I love the jokes.

Regina said...

Happy happy birthday Patty. My thoughts and prayers for you. Good health and long life.

Love the post. Wonderful!

Regards.

NitWit1 said...

Well, I came over to wish you Happy Birthday! at the behest of your husband,whose photography I love and learn so much from.

But I just knew your name would be Mary Todd. Guess that would have been much coincidence.

I also had a 73rd Oct. birthday on 13th. In 2004 I had my first total knee replacement on my birthday. At first I thought I was crazy, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I repeated the procedure a year later but not on my birthday.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY and HAPPY BRIGHT NEW WORLD. My husband has had his eyes done, too. WONDERFUL, only reading glasses.

NitWit1 said...

Well, I came over to wish you Happy Birthday! at the behest of your husband,whose photography I love and learn so much from.

But I just knew your name would be Mary Todd. Guess that would have been much coincidence.

I also had a 73rd Oct. birthday on 13th. In 2004 I had my first total knee replacement on my birthday. At first I thought I was crazy, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I repeated the procedure a year later but not on my birthday.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY and HAPPY BRIGHT NEW WORLD. My husband has had his eyes done, too. WONDERFUL, only reading glasses.

Laurie said...

Happy Birthday!!!

It is wonderful that you had successful eye surgery. It is pretty amazing what they can do.

mj said...

Birthday Parties are such Fun.....
Bet you're glad you're having one!
Via Abe's Blog,
From MJ in Mancos, CO.

MrCachet said...

I perhaps left way too soon this AM, Patty. Abe sent me, but I had to go looking for you via Google since he didn't provide a link. Happy Birthday! Did he serve you breakfast in bed? That's what my spouse gets on her birthday, and then she gets to pick what she wants to eat for supper as well.

Paz said...

LOL! Funny!

Paz