Here are a list of new words that we could probably use in this new world...today we have old words with new meanings!
1. Coffee: (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted: (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate: (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade: (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-Nilly: (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent: (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph: (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle: (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence: (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash: (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle: (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude: (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon: (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster: (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism: (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent: (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
8 comments:
Hi Patty! You have got again a priceless collection of quotes! Nice to read and good for laugh, which I needed. The weather is greyish and rainy. We need the sun. Have a great day!
Oh, hahahahaaaaa....these are just GREAT! Started my day out with a laugh.
O they are cute
Oy Veh, these are funny! Hahaha.
Have a good night, Patty.
Renie
now that sure made my day in bed. too good patty.
Wouldn't you love to spend the day with Will Rogers. That was one funny man.
#11 cracked me up but all were clever.
Yes, priceless! Thanks for the morning smile!
These are very good and yes funny. My new flowers got a good drink of rain water this morning.
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