16. I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
17. I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
18. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. you couldn't park anywhere near the place.
19. I was at this restaurant. the sign said "breakfast anytime." so I ordered french toast in the Renaissance.
20. I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
21. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
22. I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
23. I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
24. I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
25. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
26. I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
27. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
28. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
29. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
30. If you had a million shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
31. If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
32. If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
33. Last week the candle factory burned down. everyone just stood around and sang happy birthday.
34. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
35. Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
36. What's another word for thesaurus?
37. When i die, i'm leaving my body to science fiction.
38. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?