Friday, December 03, 2010

Funnies from the

Small Ads Column

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced. Get an extra pair to take home.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.


Arkansas Patti said...

Yikes, that Christmas reminder is scary. Not ready, in fact, have not even started.
Really cute ads.

Wanda said...

Where do you find all of these, Miss Patty~~~ A chuckle everyday. You make us smile, and we love you for it!!!

Have a super good day!

Renie Burghardt said...

Haha, how a little misspelling can change the meaning!

Have a good weekend!

Lady Di Tn said...

LOL These were good ones especially the desk for women with thick legs. Peace

Margaret Cloud said...

I don't know what children taste like, mmm. Very good post, liked them all.

Country Mouse Studio said...

my smile for today :O)