Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Will and Guy

** Nobel Prize **

Bob is walking down a country road when he spots Farmer Harris standing in the middle of a huge field of corn doing absolutely nothing. Bob, curious to find out what's happening, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Excuse me Farmer Harris, could you tell me what you are you doing?"

"I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize," the farmer replies.

"A Nobel Prize?" enquires Bob, puzzled. "How?"

"Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
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* Reginald's new diet

Reginald was terribly overweight, so his doctor placed him on a strict diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds," his doctor assured him.

When Reginald returned he shocked his doctor by having lost almost twenty pounds.

"Why, that's amazing," the doctor said, greatly impressed, "You certainly must have followed my instructions."

Reginald nodded, "I'll tell you what though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day."

"Why, from hunger?" asked his doctor.

"No, from all that skipping."

5 comments:

Merle said...

Dear Patty ~~ I enjoyed your jokes,
and glad you liked mine. The young ones think we have always been old, but we don't feel like it until we try to do something. Then we know we are older and slower.
I am so glad your weather is nicer and very similar to ours at present.
We are mostly in 70s or 80s F and I am enjoying it. Take care dear friend
Love, Merle.

Arkansas Patti said...

He he, that is what I need to do--skip.

Babli said...

Old is Gold and I believe it 100% that a person who thinks that he/she has become old then his/her life gets over. We,youngsters have lots and lots of things to learn from all of you who keeps themselves busy with various activities at this age. Hats off to you. Keep writing. I enjoy each and every post of yours.

Patty said...

Merle, like I said on your blog. when we sometimes post a joke that might be a little off color (so to speak) sometimes the younger ones are surprised we do. But, we weren't always old, and even now, I don't always think of myself as being old, until I try to do something or see my reflection in the mirror. LOL

Patti, I'm afraid if I tried to actually skip, I would end up breaking something like a hip or knee. LOL

Babli, you're right, so much can be learned from the older folks. But so many of the younger ones want to do it their way, and I can't say as I blame them, I'm sure we older ones felt the same way when we were young. LOL

Thanks to all for your visits.

Margaret Cloud said...

Very good ones and maybe I should try the skipping method.