Tuesday, February 25, 2014

CHURCH DINNER GONE WRONG

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games.

The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts - Janet wanted to outdo all the others.

Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But, mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms. They are too high."

He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."

She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."

He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK.

So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ole Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ole Spot ate every bite.

All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.

After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 & Mexican dominoes. About then, the helper lady from town, came in and whispered in Janet's ear. She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died." Janet went into hysterics.

After Janet finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.
The EMTs & the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and he left."

They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time, the helper lady came in and said, "You know that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."


P.S. You must admit this was funny, and I'm sure they remembered Janet's Dinner for a loooong time. LOL



4 comments:

linda eller said...

Yep, I would say they would remember that 'party' for a long time! lol

Abraham Lincoln said...

I am anonymous around here but I still sneak a peak and lift the covers to see what you are posting.

This story takes the cake. If I was awarding prizes or kingdoms I would make sure you got first place and one hundred acres with people to take care of the place and to fix the meals, and prepare your baths, fix your hair and polish your toenails.

Alas, I can only say, "I sure am glad you agreed to marry me."

Pat - Arkansas said...

Funny! Shur'nuf an unforgettable dinner party.

Abraham Lincoln said...

I am thinking about quitting writing for the newspaper. I don't enjoy it anymore -- especially like I once did when we had Jim Hoffman as the editor. So, don't be surprised if my column disappears. As for helping out around here -- the "fetch it" girl. You are just needed more now than you once were when I could just do it -- this or that. Digging holes was not one of your virtues so I planted or dug stuff up but sometimes I would ask you to run and get me a shovel or a rake or a bucket of water with fertilizer in it. And you did. I thought you did it because you wanted to be closer to me?